


unconventional love

by dumb_hoe_energy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crack Fic, Gen, This is a call for help, bro please wtf is this, grass, so much cocaine in this fic, wattpad vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumb_hoe_energy/pseuds/dumb_hoe_energy
Summary: y/n had never thought they would find themself in a situation like this. Standing mere inches away from them was the most handsome, good-looking man y/n had ever laid eyes on. He was comparable to that one picture that everyone thinks is Dream. He had delicious emerald orbs that sometimes turned yellow, blue, and red. He had curly, straight, short, long, blond that sometimes turned brown hair. He was the epitome of perfection and he was no other than Mr.Grass.oran mcyt fan x grass fanfiction because antis trended #touchgrass on Twitter today and it's about time we get to touching the grass.
Relationships: grass x y/n
Comments: 11
Kudos: 24





	unconventional love

**Author's Note:**

> bro I finally did it. I was thinking about writing this for so long and I finally did it. It's so cursed but I had so much fun writing it LMAO. 
> 
> btw this is all jokes, please don't take what I say too seriously!
> 
> also for those who weren't traumatized by Wattpad, y/n means your name so you would input your name into the sentence.

y/n is startled awake upon hearing an abrupt ‘bang!’ at their door. They sit up from their reclined position, blinking rapidly to focus their vision. They glance at the analog clock hung on their wall, it’s only 1:45 PM. Why do they have to get out of bed already? 

“Get your lazy ass down here, y/n!” They hear their mother’s voice resound throughout the house. She sounds frustrated at something. Could it be that she has found out y/n stole her credit card to purchase 69 body pillows of Dream? 

“I’m coming!” y/n ties up their golden locks into a messy bun. They jump off of their bed, stretching as they reach towards the ceiling. Still feeling dazed, y/n rub at their blue, ocean, turquoise, sometimes transforming to pink orbs. People have always tormented and oppressed y/n for their eurocentric facial features. What can they do though? Not everyone can fit in the beauty standards, especially not when you have blue orbs and blond hair. 

y/n staggers down the stairs, trying to find exactly where their mother is. Seeing that the living room’s lights are on, y/n approaches the room but stops in their steps upon hearing their mother’s voice. 

“Yes, y/n will be here shortly. They are quite ugly but you didn’t pay me that much anyway.” Her mother cackles loudly, slapping at her knee as if that was the funniest joke she has ever heard.

“y/n is not ugly. They are beautiful like a magnificent chihuahua.” A low, manly, ocean deep, Corpse’s wannabe voice retorts back. Eavesdropping on the conversation, y/n has a baffled expression on their face. Why does it sound like they are being sold? No, that can’t be it. It’s not like they are the protagonist of a One Direction fanfiction. No, this is a crack fanfiction, there’s no way there's a stupid Wattpad trope about y/n being sold because their mother can’t afford to buy any more gifted subs for Philza Minecraft. That would be a ridiculous plot! Good thing that won’t be happening!

“Ahem” Clearing their voice, y/n announces their presence. With two pairs of eyes on them, y/n can’t help but blush out of bashfulness. They’ve never had this many people looking at them. They are fine with just their mother looking at them but another person is here??! They are about to die from embarrassment. Is this what it’s like to be outside? To be exposed for the eyes of many??? Good thing y/n has never stepped outside once in their life. Their mother keeps telling them to touch some grass after they have ranted about wanting to take part in an auction that sold GeorgeNotFound’s toenail but they have never understood their mother’s advice. How would touching grass help them get money to bid in the auction?? Sometimes y/n feels like they are misunderstood. Other people their age are going out, having a social life, and being a working member of society; but, unlike other people, y/n is clinically depressed and has a foot/toenail fetish. 

“Y/n, you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen and that’s saying something because I am colorblind. I am so happy to be able to officially own you!” 

“Wait, wait, wait! Are you perhaps my love interest who is part of the mafia and is incredibly rich and is here to buy me from my mother who keeps saying she won’t buy GeorgeNotFound’s toenail for me???” 

“Yes, it is I, Mr.Weed aka Mr.Grass aka Mr.420 here to buy you.” Y/n’s jaw drops to the floor. Who could have expected this? They knew their mother was running out of money to gift subs to Philza Minecraft but who knew she would go as far as this? She is really making y/n touch Mr.Grass??? No, this can’t be. It may not be real grass because the author didn’t want to write a story where the protagonist pillow-talked to someone’s lawn but having y/n talk to the personification of grass is criminal!!

“Mother, please I thought you loved me.”  
“Lolz what gave you that idea?”  
“Okay fair I just made that up but still...is Philza Minecraft more important than your own biological child??”  
“Oh, shit! I never told you, did I? I found you in the sewers. You’re not my child monkaS.”  
“Wait, does that mean dad isn’t my dad either?!”  
“Yeah LULW”

Y/n can’t comprehend their situation at the moment. Not only did they used to live with the rats in the sewers, their mother just keeps saying out loud twitch emotes. This is literally their worst nightmare. 

“Well, let’s go now, shall we? I have already arranged it so that your belongings have shipped to my place.” Mr.Grass aka Mr. Weed aka Mr.420 shows y/n a reassuring smile. That’s right, it may seem like y/n’s life is falling apart but at least Mr.Grass seems like he’s rich enough to support their lifestyle as a dedicated mcyt toenail collector. 

“Bye mom...I hope you don’t regret this.”  
Hearing this, y/n’s mom sighs in dismay. She approaches y/n and grabs onto their hands.  
“Look I’m sorry for doing this but 20 gifted subs is 20 gifted subs LULW.”  
“ONLY 20?!!”  
“KEKW I know right, I should’ve adopted one of those rats that you lived with in the sewers, at least they would’ve caught a better price.”  
“MOM!!”  
“I’m not your mom, y/n. Those rats had a better chance of being your mom than me KEKW.”

Y/n can’t take it any longer. Their mom can humiliate them all she wants but the audacity to continue KEKW them is just disrespectful. Storming out of the house, y/n doesn’t take a second look back. This is it! They are finally going to step outside! And possibly even touch grass!  
This is where it all begins!! The journey of an mcyt toenail collector starts here!!

**Author's Note:**

> this was all over the place and I love it.
> 
> y/n, my beloved toenail enthusiast


End file.
